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One I caught a couple seconds before it blew



Begin Phone Log
I know, therefore I-
Yeah, yeah, no, I’m doing fine, Hank. My wife’s fine too, asshole. Do you ever call someone just to check up on them? No! It’s always Wayward this, Wayward that-
Shut the fuck up, Ed. This is why I don’t call you for pleasure. Anyways, Sacramento’s caught wind you got some dirt on the those sunfish or whatever down in San Diego.
I’m just busting your balls, Hank. You take this secret society bullshit too seriously. Anyways, they’re not called sunfish, the hell did you hear that?
I thought another outfit called them that.
There’s nobody in San Diego, except for me. Certainly no damn anglers but me.
Wouldn’t you like to know?
Oh, fuck off. I call them Bang-fish.
But you got a wife already, Ed.
Hank, I’m going to kick your ass next time I see you. Anyways, Bang-fish, they look like normal pomfrets but they’ve got holes in ‘em.
Where are the holes?
On the sides, usually. Can see right through ‘em, too. They don’t bleed or nothing, though.
Uh-huh. You know what the holes are for?
Not really. When I reel ‘em up, they make a hissing sound, like I pricked a tire or something. Might be gas leaking out.
I swear Hank, if I come back to the article and see some half-assed shit like you putting this damned phone call into the description I will-

Background:Sailors in San Diego have been complaining about singe marks and bits of fried fish splattered across their hulls for years. At one point, a school of Bang-fish converged towards a dry dock at the San Diego naval base. My theory is that they were going for the aluminum components of the ship. It's that somehow, whenever I'm not looking for Bang-fish, I put little squares of aluminum foil on my line as a flasher. There's not supposed to be light down that far, but almost always, I pull one of those stupid bombs back up. Anyways, the blast almost scuttled a battleship near the dock and from what I hear, nobody saw another Bang-fish for a damn near decade. Friend in the navy sent me this picture.
The Kumeyaay people passed down stories of angry fish-gods that could be used to sink other canoes and could be used to scare off demons. They were probably talking about Bang-fish.

I don’t know if this is where you put it, but these fish seem like they do something with the gas other than turn to fish and chips. I think the gas is for dealing with the pressure underwater, but I’ve seen the Bang-fish spit out jets of flames sometimes before they blow. Maybe it's a hunting method or something. Have no idea how they use it underwater though.

Location and Population:Right off the coast of San Diego is where I find them, but not too many people cast their lines that deep. They don't fall for lobster traps either. The other warders on the eastern seaboard haven't reported anything like this, so I think it's safe to say this it's specifically in the deeps of San Diego. Maybe they even live in the open ocean? I'll need to take a fishing boat out to check, but I'm not feeling too confident about going that far out.

Hunting or Procurement Methods:As soon as you reel it up, the fish stops moving. You hear a hiss, and that's your cue to either dunk it back into water or get your eyebrows singed off. Generally after around 2-3 seconds, the fish chunks itself. If you toss it back into the water all it does is make a big bubble and splash some warm water on you.

Of all the fish that I've eaten, this one has the weirdest flavor - tastes like a mixture of french fries, tin foil, and sulfur.

Encounter Records:N/A

Additional Notes:N/A

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